Even before my return to Barbados, I knew exactly what I wanted my life to look like. In all honesty, I probably knew what I wanted my life to look like way before the WNBF World Championships but couldn't bring myself to admit - not only did I want financial freedom, more free time, more meaningful relationships and a few more material things but it was actually ok to want more. I do not readily share my goals, dreams and desires with others and guess this is the case because I feel like I cannot always share my deepest desires with some people out of fear that at best, they will not support me; worse yet, they may actually remind me of who I am (people often think they know you better than you know yourself), where I came from and why what I want to achieve is impossible - moreover, I may actually believe them. Needless to say, I am now a lot more careful with whom I spend my time and so should you.
You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. Jim Rohn
Having read The Success Principles by Jack Canfield I was forced to assess my life and honestly write down what I wanted along with what I wanted my life to look like in all areas. I had loads of ah-ha moments as I read and contemplated the wisdom found in each chapter while holidaying at my cousin's house in Long Island where I was made to feel very welcome by her daughter Caitlyn.
Let's just say I was very receptive to Jack's suggestions and wrote out my life's purpose, a vision for each area of my life except in two areas (I ran out of coloured index paper). Yeah, I know that's really no excuse and I plan to have these outstanding parts completed really soon.
When I returned from the USA, I was feeling on top of the world for a good few months but had no idea how to give life to my ideas; furthermore, I wasn't quite comfortable sharing them but I did share them with 1 special person **wink, wink**. Reality set in as I sat in my office surrounded by green pistachio walls. I was painfully aware that even though I loved my job and was grateful for the opportunity, I had this feeling which I cannot accurately describe other than to say it was a combination of discontentment, fear, feeling out of place and definitely not on the general prevailing vibe.
Long story short, I knew I had to find an environment in which all those negative feelings mentioned above were starved, not fed. After a few months of mental negotiations; back and forth; battles between the voice of reality vs. the dream voice; processing and re-processing various things in my head I made the decision to resign from my job which was one of the most difficult decisions I've made in a very long time.
Of course I was quizzed by friends and acquaintances as to why I'd come to such a drastic decision. "Why you left your job?", "What are you going to do with the economy as bad as it is?" and "I hope you know what you doing!" are some of the questions posed and sentiments expressed. On the other hand, I've also heard: "Good for you!", "Once you're happy, that's all that matters" and "You're a go getter and I'm sure you'll make it no matter what you do!" and "I wish I could do that but....".
I've realised that writing out your goals brings about clarity but in order to achieve any goal, one must take ACTION which can be scary at times. I'm working on feeling the fear and doing it anyway which is easier said than done but very possible. The thing is, I've also noticed that when challenges arise, a solution has always presented itself just in time. As I've said before, I'm on a quest to live my passion and I'd like to share my journey with you because I am acutely aware that we all want the same thing - TO BE HAPPY.
I'll continue to share my stories with you, please feel free to share yours as well and if there's anything specific you'd like me to share, please leave me a comment or send me an email.
In the meantime...Give thanks. Eat clean. Sleep deep.