Adults don't quite get it - there's no real growth in being critical of children. Rather, you inflict more pain and suffering than you will ever know. Newsflash!!!! Be a more conscious parent.
Trust me. I've heard: "Sit up straight"; "Don't fall asleep in church!"; "You are so great" (if you're Bajan you know this has a negative connotation); "You are so stubborn!"; "Don't let me hear you chew your food and chew with your mouth closed!" and loads of other criticisms that I really don't feel like mentioning but trust me, they're all in my head.
Why the heck couldn't I just be? At 'home', I always felt uneasy. At church I always felt like I was under the microscope and at school I felt very odd. Mostly, I felt like disappearing or running away but the potential embarrassment kept me frozen. Believe you me those days were not happy days. So be reminded that you never know anyone's story.
The funny thing is, it's from this criticism that my streak of perfectionism grew and like everything else, there's an 'upside' and a 'downside'. Trying to be 'perfect' and doing things 'perfectly' can lead to paralysis or it can lead to excellence but you've got to be aware of the path you're heading down.
It's not easy to shake being critical when you've often been criticised but I've caught myself a couple of times (sorry cousins, niece, nephew...). Long story short, I really did not sign up for so much personal growth when I quit my job and decided to be an entrepreneur but it seems like par for the course so I'm doing the work.
Please understand that sharing this with you is not to solicit pity. It's really the longer version of saying that you get to choose the person you wish to be no matter your story. Take the time to do your own work; read this, it will certainly help you as much as it has helped me. If you:
- Don't like how you look or feel
- Are tired of being body shamed
- Think that something must be wrong with you
- Feel frustrated or totally confused about what to do next
- Have made a decision to get in shape once and for all
In the meantime...Give thanks. Eat clean. Train hard. Sleep deep